Avinu Malkeinu

Whatever my spiritual leanings may be at this point in my life, the tradition and ritual of fasting, confession, and repentance on Yom Kippur runs deep within me. The time of reflection is certainly not limited to this holiday, but there is something powerful and moving for me to know that as a community we are engaged in the similar act of repentance, together, on this day. There are many I have wronged in this year, and many by whom I have been wronged, and there is something beautiful and redeeming about making peace with both sides. I believe we do not forgive because those who have wronged us are "deserving" of it, rather I believe we forgive because we are all deserving of the freedom and peace that comes with the act of letting go. It can be painful and difficult, to be sure, to release ourselves from the bondage of bitterness and anger, but to do so is to choose peace and a more non-violent life for ourselves. There are many times I have found myself stuck in the cycle of caving to ego, holding grudges because I do not know how to let go, and carrying a hardness within my heart that serves no purpose other than to weigh me down. So often this hardness has crippled my ability to clearly communicate with those I love, and has threatened to destroy relationships that are valuable and provide much comfort to me. I have found myself behaving in ways that are incongruous with my genuine desire to live in peace with my community, and even the awareness of the act is sometimes not enough to prevent it from happening. To release my friends and family from the unspoken expectations I place upon them, to accept them as they are and not as I wish for them to be, to earnestly seek acceptance by them as I am and not as they wish for me to be, and to forgive myself and my community alike for all the ways in which we fall short. I am reminded of all that is sacred around me, all that is holy within me, and all that is possible within my community. G'mar Chatima Tovah